So it seems like I posted this somewhere before recently, like in LiveJournal, but I can’t be bothered to check.

A little backstory: The Fallbrook MUN was pretty much a farce, with the exception of the Bartches. I had no preparation and very little clue what was going on. We were assigned countries the average American has never heard of, and had to argue about issues until we could come up with your typical idealistic starry-eyed UN resolution to fix said issue. Ironically, a bunch of high school students are about as effective in carrying out these resolutions as the real UN. I digress…

We didn’t really take the thing seriously, so we came up with the following resolution. Of the five resolutions that day, ours was the only one that failed to pass. For shame.

Committee Name: 4th Committee
Topic: Kashmir Conflict
Sponsors: Gambia, Greece, and Jordan

Operation DUMP (Direct UN Military Propagation)

Deploring the continued political conflict between India and Pakistan over dominion of the Kashmir region,

Taking Into Account the inability to come to a resolution,

Anxious over the mounting threat of nuclear war,

1. Encourages the UN sanction of a war between India and Pakistan to settle mutual differences
(a) Preventing the spread of hostilities between other Muslim and Hindu nations;
(b) Finally putting an end to the land dispute through proven means rather than idealistic peace talks and disarmaments;
(c) Starting on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month;

2. Welcomes the donation of arms (nuclear and otherwise) to India and Pakistan by other nations of the world according to their political views, in a truly democratic fashion,

3. Notes that a full-scale war will lead to a decrease in terrorism,

4. Calls Upon Canada to cede territory to the defeated country to increase international goodwill,

5. Requests, following resolution of the war, Led Zeppelin will reunite and perform a charity concert performing their hit song “Kashmir” to the newly liberated people as a form of humanitarian aid,

6. Considers It Desirable that the defeated country, following the ensuing nuclear holocaust, drops all claims to the disputed country.